Like every other day, I was busy scrolling down Quora and paused at a question, the top answer of which sort of, pissed me off. I was aggravated with the tone of the answer, which is sadly the major reason for the huge response the answer is receiving. Here's the screenshot of the question:
And here's the answer I'm talking about:
I'm sure what most of you are thinking of right now, "The bitch deserves this!", "How dare she expect a guy leave the Army for her! Was she crazy?", and other curses like that. But pause those thoughts for a while, and think:
Is it wrong for a girl to have dreams, like to spend life with the love of her life? Different girls have different dreams; to wake up every morning beside her husband, to help their kids with homework together and have a pleasant meal in the same plate. If it's rightful for a guy to leave a girl and follow his dreams, then leaving the guy to spend her life the way she wants is rightful for a girl too. Demeaning the girl who asked her guy to choose between her and the Army: this has been a trend, and it's hurting. Such stories always end up demeaning the girl who wanted her guy to stay close to her. I understand that expecting someone to give up his dreams for you is a huge thing to ask, but that doesn't mean people would keep shaming the girl who chose her dream life without hurting anyone.
People read such stories only to confirm that the ex-girlfriend is rotting in hell. This is more like a 'post breakup disorder', where people, specially guys who've separated from their ex-girlfriends want to read more and more about girls who were left and insulted by other men. This apparently brings some sort of satisfaction to the broken hearts. But give it a thought, is it really healthy for your mind?
If a girl expects to spend her life with her husband by her side, it's her choice and is absolutely worth respect. Her dreams may not be huge for the world, but if a girl wants to grow old in her husband's presence, it's not a matter to be mocked in front of the world.
It's high time we give up the misogynist attitude and start respecting the women who take a stand for their dreams and future. It's the time we grow up, like sensible humans.
And here's the answer I'm talking about:
The answer is hidden in this anecdote I :
I have a friend, NIT graduate used to work for one of the largest steel makers in the world, and in due course of time he was engaged to his girlfriend. Two years into the job he applied for and was accepted into the prestigious Indian Military Academy.
When he broke this news to his girlfriend she immediately put a choice to him "Either join the Army or marry me". My friend chose the Army, and thus the engagement was called off. Sad ending no? But wait, this happened next :
My friend joined the IMA, passed out this year and currently is busy being a certified badass at 11,000 ft above sea level while commanding immense respect from his former colleagues, boss, classmates, dorm mates etc. The pay is decent but more than that there is this sense of satisfaction . After all manning a post at the second coldest place on Earth requires something more than ordinary but best of all 'Captain. ABC' of the Brigade of the Guards is a lot more awesome intro than Mr. ABC, Analyst at So & So.
But wait, his engagement broke, joining the army screwed his married life no??!! Apparently not. While at the IMA he met a beautiful and compassionate lady at the ball party, asked her out and he's getting engaged in 4 days. Net loss? Nothing! Net Gain? Everything!
Oh and by the way the lady who broke off the engagement earlier? She's now calling him regretting her "mistake". True story!
I have a friend, NIT graduate used to work for one of the largest steel makers in the world, and in due course of time he was engaged to his girlfriend. Two years into the job he applied for and was accepted into the prestigious Indian Military Academy.
When he broke this news to his girlfriend she immediately put a choice to him "Either join the Army or marry me". My friend chose the Army, and thus the engagement was called off. Sad ending no? But wait, this happened next :
My friend joined the IMA, passed out this year and currently is busy being a certified badass at 11,000 ft above sea level while commanding immense respect from his former colleagues, boss, classmates, dorm mates etc. The pay is decent but more than that there is this sense of satisfaction . After all manning a post at the second coldest place on Earth requires something more than ordinary but best of all 'Captain. ABC' of the Brigade of the Guards is a lot more awesome intro than Mr. ABC, Analyst at So & So.
But wait, his engagement broke, joining the army screwed his married life no??!! Apparently not. While at the IMA he met a beautiful and compassionate lady at the ball party, asked her out and he's getting engaged in 4 days. Net loss? Nothing! Net Gain? Everything!
Oh and by the way the lady who broke off the engagement earlier? She's now calling him regretting her "mistake". True story!
I'm sure what most of you are thinking of right now, "The bitch deserves this!", "How dare she expect a guy leave the Army for her! Was she crazy?", and other curses like that. But pause those thoughts for a while, and think:
Is it wrong for a girl to have dreams, like to spend life with the love of her life? Different girls have different dreams; to wake up every morning beside her husband, to help their kids with homework together and have a pleasant meal in the same plate. If it's rightful for a guy to leave a girl and follow his dreams, then leaving the guy to spend her life the way she wants is rightful for a girl too. Demeaning the girl who asked her guy to choose between her and the Army: this has been a trend, and it's hurting. Such stories always end up demeaning the girl who wanted her guy to stay close to her. I understand that expecting someone to give up his dreams for you is a huge thing to ask, but that doesn't mean people would keep shaming the girl who chose her dream life without hurting anyone.
People read such stories only to confirm that the ex-girlfriend is rotting in hell. This is more like a 'post breakup disorder', where people, specially guys who've separated from their ex-girlfriends want to read more and more about girls who were left and insulted by other men. This apparently brings some sort of satisfaction to the broken hearts. But give it a thought, is it really healthy for your mind?
If a girl expects to spend her life with her husband by her side, it's her choice and is absolutely worth respect. Her dreams may not be huge for the world, but if a girl wants to grow old in her husband's presence, it's not a matter to be mocked in front of the world.
It's high time we give up the misogynist attitude and start respecting the women who take a stand for their dreams and future. It's the time we grow up, like sensible humans.
In these kind of answer we don't know the actual situation. Author has interpreted this story in different ways. I don't think after 7 years of loving relationship someone would decide the fate on asking kbc question. May be she has some plans and he did not wanted her to go for that plan, may be she is little selfish(might be right in her view) and wanted him not to join, and many other reasons.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes it is true most of the times most people represent women as culprit. And these kind of scenarios put by both men and women, and one ditch another and later apologize or sorry for that. I am from small city and have seen many times the way people look at women if she talks to other man or even go to market alone. So it will take lot of time for most men to take women as their equivalent.Sad but true.